Saturday, March 4, 2017

LIVE TO CARE AND SHARE!

  Sir Wilfred T. Grenfell "The service we render to others is really the rent we pay for our room on this earth. It is obvious that man himself is a traveler..."

*The Purpose of Life is not To Win but To Grow and Share*
You are not rich until you enrich others.
You do not need to have it all before you give back...
Of the little you have, touch a life next to you.

You can give of your Time, Money, Resources,
Give... Show kindness... Show love... It would make the other feel better and make you feel best...

Givers never lack is a veracity... Truism

I noticed recently, the more I shared with my room mates who have not enough, the more I feel fulfilled and loved... Lacking nothing good. 

Giving is sowing into your future - Bibii C. J

*"The greatest love is the love given away "* - *Anonymous*

Take an African Country for example ; There would remain a chasm between The Rich, the elites and The Poor, the non elites that is because the first group of people  have failed to lend a helping hand yet they would do anything possible to impoverish the already impoverished.

No body, I would tell you truly, nobody cares about what you receive or get ...you will only be remembered for your good deeds, time spent, love shared, gifts given...

* Oh how beautiful are the hearts of those who care and share - Bibii Johnson*

So tell me... What's your decision... Give or Get!?

I'll suggest... Let's Get 
to Give (work, be the best and give of your portion...)
You can't give what you do not possess... So work and get and don't forget to *GÎVĖ*

Wishing you a Brand and Amazing Week

Reference : John C Maxwell *"Make Today Count"*

Written : *Blessing Johnson*

For : *Medium.Com and bibiijohnson.blogspot.com*

4-03-2017

Monday, February 13, 2017

LOVE ISNT SEX NOR PHYSICAL ATTRACTION

LOVE is not sex, Love is not Physical attraction, Don't be deceived.

LOVE needs to be fed.
AGAPE LOVE + PHILIA LOVE + EROS LOVE = SUCCESSFUL AND BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP .

Agape Love could connote that Unreserved Commitment,  mutual commitment.

Philia Love has to do with the kind of Love that proceeds out of fondness from friends , could be called shoulder to shoulder love.

Eros Love erupts from emotions, feelings. And can I tell you something, Feelings are fickle, emotions are not constant.

Any relationship built solely on Eros love only can't Thrive. It's like building a 10 Storey building on sand.

That's why for a lasting Relationship you need all the three in operation.

If a guy says he wants to court/date you, he should be a sound friend first. If all that draws him close is your frame or your face... That's a frail relationship worthy of short life .
You first be friends and have lots in common, that compatibility and shared values before anything else.

If he's attracted, what attracted him and how solid is that attraction.
Look sweetie , Nigeria is so blessed from the overflow of 'dwindling' Natural resources to the abundance of beautiful women.
That should tell you that there's always someone out there more beautiful, more light skinned than you.
If a guy tells me "Baby I see your beauty, it's like the beauty of the sun ..."
And I'm like "What a lovely poem , sun ke "
Cos he's obviously a big time joker.
Hey, am not trying to be too hard or Spartan...
It's all fine to compliment a lady... As in we all feel good about that but hey! guys you can't blow up every girl with such hyperbolic talks...

Truth be told friendships need maintenance.

I can say confidently that I am friendly ,love to meet new people and make friends but actually I don't know how to actually maintain most friendships.
Some Friendships could be costly to maintain, the question is which is worth the cost?
It's not all about making or having friends, it's about the level of importance we attach to those friendships that count.

*True Love can wait, ask Biblical Jacob (worked  seven extra years for Rebecca)

*True Love takes time and grows gradually.

*True Love is attracted to the whole personality.

*True Love cultivates, trains and brings out the best in you.

Guys! You meet a lady and at the end of the month, you are dry and worst than before. You need to flee from her or send her fleeing.
Some ladies are liabilities rather than assets... They deteriorate who you are or what you have.
Most are Eat-meets (obiageli) rather than help meets .

We all got to be wise
#Be Single But not Silly#

Friday, January 13, 2017

DEEP AGONY 2

DEEP AGONY 1

Fiction plus Reality.

Kelvin's younger brother, Steven who was doing his internship at a Federal teaching hospital came by the maternity and was sad to see how bad things had gone.
"We can’t take her away from here right now, she may not survive it... She's sweating, lets take her to the shower"- Steven.
They both lifted her from off the bed and she collapsed into Kelvin's arm. Steven screamed for the nurses for help and asked Steven to get a face towel soaked in water while he put Nma back on bed and checked for her vital signs...
"weak pulse... We need help, she needs help... You could lose her and that baby if we don't do something soon" - Steven.

Kelvin on running out bumped into the doctor and a few nurses on his trail... Two pushed a trolley before them.
The baby's head had crowned. Medical implication meaning the baby was ready to be delivered, head first.
There was no time, the air was tense, someone's life was at stake.
"There was a rushed talk about performing an emergency C-section... "- Kelvin

But as though Nma wanted to make her own decision; She found strength and while Kelvin held her right palm in his left palm, she began to push... The doctor positioned to catch the baby while the nurses got other things set out.

And with one deep moan, she arched her back forward, bit hard on her lower lip and shut her eyes- A baby was born!

The nurse moved swiftly, she tugged and pulled at baby limbs... Baby was dead! I knew it already and my heart palpitated.

Pads and towels soaked in blood, Nma couldn’t stop bleeding and dying... No matter what the doctors did;  "Another doctor came in along the line".

"At that moment I wished I could give her a life insurance, I wished hopelessly that I could share my strength and breathe with her... Watching the love of my life die was the most horrifying experience ever"- Kelvin choked with emotions.

°°°°°°°°°°

In the early hours of Sunday,  Easter Sunday, Nma let go -  she fought no more for life that mattered, she went where no pain could reach her. Her last breathe was soft and peaceful... Kelvin kissed  her deeply one last, long time and as though Nma loved it, she smiled slightly before she went limp.

°°°°°°°°°°

It was three days before Kelvin could return home to their apartment and when he opened the front door, he broke down in agonising sobs.

"Everything was still as we had left it three days ago, everywhere I looked I saw memories... Her night wear lay neatly folded on the bed, her scent was everywhere, that feminine, lovely smell that made me so dizzy and longing for her"- Kelvin.

Nma's possessions were put in storage.

Though the centre was sued,  it made life no better for Kelvin. Nma was gone forever, she was one part of him, he never thought would leave him so quickly.
He blamed himself for her death and wished he could apologize to her for every wrong step he took. He wished he could make up for all the times he offended her at home.

°°°°°°°°°°

A year after her funeral

To relax- He relieved memories of how they met and every beautiful time they had spent together.
"Every time I felt her soft caress across my skin, it made me smile even in my dream and waking up to reality that she wasn’t there nestled by my side was bitter".

Nma was cherry to Kelvin;
"She was a flower I ever wanted to groom, so delicate and pure. My love for her is like cold magma.
She was the softest and sweetest teddy I could ever cuddle... Nma had places in my heart and still does"

DEEP AGONY

When a man breaks down in body quaking sobs, then life must have banged him real hard.
There are moments when pain seems so unbearable.

Meet Kelvin Macaulay who has been through the worst periods of his life and summons courage to talk about it.

" I no longer believe in anything supernatural neither do I believe in miracles, I have seen bad people do really bad things... But I don't know why this has to happen to us? - Nma and I. "

They say time is the best healer but it has turned out to be the worst for Kelvin.

Adore's Maternity Centre has admitted Nma died of a ruptured womb which lead to a cardiac arrest and major organ failure. Two mid wives have been suspended and the centre sued.

Kelvin's wife, his baby and life he had imagined with them had been cruelly taken away from him. He started suffering from post-traumatic stress and began living off incapacity benefits from the government.
" I used to sell life insurance but I can't do that anymore"- Kelvin. He often ended up depressed when he sold insurances to clients. It reminded him of how he could not insure Nma's life and that of their baby.

All night, all I could think of was Nma's suffering and sleep was impossible, his heart races and revisits scenes he wished he could forget.
If nights are bad, the days are no better for Kelvin. "I take pills but sleep refuses to descend".

               °°°°°°°°°°°°°
It was a tale that began on a cold breezy harmattan evening; a friend had asked Kelvin to accompany him to an Ultra Mart on Legislative street and he met a daintily beautiful girl, chubby and friendly. He felt temporarily dizzy indeed on seeing her as though she was his better half.

After that night, Kelvin was back at the Ultra mart to look for her, he was told that she worked only on weekends.
He did go back the third time on the next weekend and of course, Nma was around. She worked as a part time cashier at the Ultra mart.

Fortunately, they got along. Nma was a second year student at the same University where Kelvin schooled.
"I don't know where time went when we were together" Kelvin said grinning from ear to ear.
Nma wasn't certain of her feelings even though she loved him.
"She wasn't saying yes or no to marriage yet but I was going to wait for her".

Kelvin was in his final year as a computer engineering student and he was ready to build and grow in love with his newly found 'lily'.

°°°°°°°°°°

Two years later in early 2013, Kelvin and Nma tied the nuptial cord in Ghana, Kelvins place of origin before returning home to continue life with his young wife.
In the August break of 2014, Nma got pregnant.
"This child was going to be her life, she was delirious"- Kelvin.

Nma was an orphan, no mom, no dad.
"I was determined to be with her through this pregnancy and we went for ante-natal together -" I learned and read everything I could about pregnancy and being a good father and supportive husband, bought all that our unborn baby would need, I was ready for Nma and my baby; Every night we lay together on the bed I spoke to baby and Nma would squeal when she moved in her tummy"- Kelvin.
The couple's home was set for the arrival of the new baby.

°°°°°°°°°°

Easter period of 2014, Nma's tummy had dropped ; Medical implication was that the baby's head had descended into the pelvis in preparation for birth allowing the mother to breathe easily.

Contractions started by 4:00pm and Kelvin literally flew home from work to pick Nma up to the Maternity Centre.
"Nma had a hard time staying calm, I have never seen her cry profusely... Often when she had the surge of pain, she would grip my right palm and squeeze my bones out... I held the steering wheel with just one hand while I let Nma have my other hand for comfort" -  Kelvin.

Kelvin finally drove his way through the increasing traffic and got to the hospital with Nma in one piece.
The doctor who was supposed to help Nma in delivery promised to be at the Maternity Centre soon.

The nurses on duty got Nma on bed, got me a chair to sit by her and checked to see if she was dilated "she's just 7.5cm, we would wait".
"If I didn't know anything much about pregnancy and childbirth, I would have thought what that meant"- Kelvin.

Minutes turned into hours and no nurse came in to check on her again, they chattered noisily down the hall way.
"I was so disturbed and increasingly concerned,  twice I went to see the nurses, they told me Nma was alright but I needed no prophet to tell me something was absolutely going wrong... I wished I had taken her away but I decided to wait for the doctor who had pleaded with me to exercise patience when I called him."

Kelvin could see the deep agony in Nma's face as she whimpered weakly. Her pupils were dilating and she was becoming non-responsive while sweating profusely.

Read more?
Deep Agony 2
Faction; Fiction plus Reality.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

STOP, DON'T KILL THAT CHILD!!!

While serving in a hospital during my National Youth Service Corps (NYSC)  days, a lady walked into the hospital and requested for a blood test;  She said she had done it before, but wanted to have it on paper to make it certified. I asked her what she expected the result to be, she said "O negative(-)", she had a very 'special' blood type.

I smiled, collected her blood sample and took it to the serology section of the laboratory and ran the test.
It was as she had said; she was O negative (-). The Chief scientist signed the result and I took it to her.

Before handing over the result to her, I asked if she knew what comes with this 'special' blood type of hers and if she knows the necessary precautions to take and she answered in the negative.

I sat her down, told her that immediately she gets pregnant she should make sure her doctor knows about her blood type.
She asked "why"?  I said "so you can keep having babies, and pregnancy won't be your last". 
She was surprised and said she already got pregnant once but did not have the child.
Immediately I felt really sorry for her. I told her to see my the Chief Scientist. She left the office and that was the last I heard from her.

It's being almost a year since my service,
I had a chat with my friend two weeks ago.
He started by saying " guy, one has to be careful before getting married ooo"  I was like "yea, but why are you saying that , what happened? . He said the wife of his friend was finding it hard to get pregnant and that any time she does, she gets really sick and looses the pregnancy.
I asked if his friend had taken his wife to see a doctor. He said yes, the doctor said she was A negative (-).  I wasn't surprised.  I told my friend, it's either she was pregnant once and didn't take the necessary precaution.

Now, this brings me to the crux of the matter.
The reason why the first lady will have problem or why the second lady is having problem as you might have guessed is because of their blood group.

The blood group according to Wikipedia is a classification of blood based on the presence and absence of antibodies and also the presence or absence of inherited antigenic substance on the surface of red blood cells.

What the above statement simply means is, whichever blood group an individual has, it is based on

*1. The presence and absence of antibodies.*
*2. The presence or absence of inherited antigenic substance.*

*NB* ABO and RHD reflects the antigen present on the red blood cells.

Using this standard of classification, we have *A,B,AB and O*  based  on the ABO and also *+ or-* based on the RHD.

So therefore the blood group an individual could have is:
*A+*
*A-*
*B+*
*B-*

*AB+*
*AB-*
*O+*
*O-*
NB...Antigen causes disease, Antibody fights disease.
  Positive means present, negative means absent
So,

*A+* has antigen A, antigen RHD and also antibody B , that is, it has a soldier that can fight off antigen B but has it's own ability to cause a disease conferred on it by the antigen A and RHD

*A-* has antigen A and antibody B, antibody against RHD but does not have RHD antigen

*B+* has antigen B, antigen RHD and also antibody A.

*B-* has antigen B and antibody A, antibody against RHD, but does not have antigen RHD

*AB+* has antigen A, antigen B ,antigen RHD but does not have any antibody.

*AB-* has  antigen A, antigen B, no antigen RHD but has antibody against RHD

*O+*  has only antigen RHD antigen, but has antibodies A and antibody B

*O-* has no antigen but has antibody against RHD and also antibodies A and B.

I wish I could make it simpler but that is as simple as it gets.

Having established these facts, explaining what will happen to the first lady and what is happening to the second woman  aforementioned is this;

Since the first lady is O negative (-), recall that O negative(-) has no antigen at all but has antibodies A, B and against RHD so that means if she gets pregnant and the child is has the RHD positive, say O positive (+), the lady would produce soldiers (antibodies) that would kill the child.
However this will only happen if the lady is not given *anti-D immunoglobulin* during the  third trimester of her first pregnancy.
So if the first lady probably had a D&C during this period which is mostly unlikeable she will not be able to conceive scientifically, spiritually it might be possible.

For the second woman having difficulty conceiving, remember she is A negative (-) and had not received the *anti-D immunoglobin* injection during her first pregnancy , therefore even if she successfully delivers the first baby, it would be impossible to take in again cause the soldiers in her body would see the pregnancy as a threat, and would therefore kill the fetus.

Having said all these. I believe miracles still happen and the second woman might still conceive.

NB : In pregnancy the most important antigen is the RHD.  The ABO does not matter as the child would have inherited what the both parent contributed to it's DNA.
But inheriting the RHD from one of the parents in contrast to what one of the other parent has would pose a problem.

However in blood transfusion the ABO and RHD are very important.

Courtesy : Emmanuel Okolo, Microbiologist .

Read More variety topics from this blog.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

BE INSPIRED - NATHANIEL OKOLO

I recently read a phrase in one Chinua Achebe's novel, and it goes thus " proverbs are the palm oil with which words are eaten".

I constructed a reflected phrase :
"Proverbs are how God imparts wisdom on us without wasting too much words" .

In light of this, here are 10 quotes I hope would impart us with wisdom.

*Character is what a man is in the dark - Anonymous.

*Trust does not mean an absence of doubt, it means one has decided to overlook the doubt - Nathaniel Okolo (2016).

*What kills you is not what causes your heart to stop beating.... Its what prevents you from living.  - Anonymous.

*A good man apologises for the mistakes of the past, a great man corrects them - Anonymous
(this particular quote challenged me).

*He that trusts his heart is a fool - Jonathan Edwards.
(much deeper meanings).

*Adversity tests the sincerity of friends - Aesop.

*After all is said and done, more is said than done - Aesop
(less words more action.... Please).

*All persons ought to endeavor to follow what is right, and not what is established - Aristotle.

*An ant on the move, does more than a dozing ox - Lao Tzu.
(get of your butt and start doing something).

*By three methods we may learn wisdom; by reflection which is noblest, by imitation which is easiest and by experience which is the bitterest - Conficus.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

LETS LAUGH... OO1

*I was invited to this indoor wedding at the weekend. When I reached the Venue (hotel), I found two doors written:
1. Bride relatives
2. Groom relatives
"Hmmmm interesting" I said to myself as I entered the door marked Groom relatives
and found two more doors written:
1. Ladies
2. Men
I started laughing for no reason then entered the mens door and found two doors written;
1. People with gifts
2. People without gifts.
I entered the second door ( people without gifts )
and found myself outside of the hotel.
#WARNING# Don't smile, Laugh instead !!!

* A group of Nigerian husbands gathered at a conference on, "How to keep a loving relationship with your wife".

The speaker asked,

"How many of you love your wife?"

All the men raised their hands.

Then they were asked,

"When was the last time you told your wife you loved her?"
Some men answered today, some yesterday, majority didn’t remember.

The men were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their wife:

"I love you, sweetheart".

Then, the men were asked to exchange phones, so each of them can read the other wife's response to the love message..

Here are some of the replies from 10 of them:

1. Have you impregnated someone again.

2. That was then, not now.

3. You wan borrow money abi?

4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you this time!

5. Meaning?

6. Is that a new song?

7. Am I dreaming!

8. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, you will die today!

9. You this man! I asked you to stop drinking!

10. Who is this please?

#WARNING# Don't smile, Laugh instead !!!



* TEACHER - I returned from work, opened my door and saw 50 million naira on my bed. "Assuming you were in my shoes, what will you do?"  asks the teacher.

Waky : I will bite your toes until you faint. I will then come out from your shoes and take all the money!

TEACHER: Fool! You can't literally be inside my shoes. *It's a figure of speech.*

Waky : You can't literally open your door and see 50 million naira on your bed in this eonomy? Who will keep it there?
That's a figure of impossible speech!

#copied&edited#

Read more, Find more?

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

THE WOMAN SHE WANTS TO BE FOR HER MAN

So many things I hope to be for My future Man but in the dim background of my precious heart, I know I can't  be a perfect woman for my man.
Perfect women just don't exist .

When I think of what actually qualifies a lady to be the perfect wife/partner, I wonder if there is a standard because perfect women just don't exist.
Somehow I know every good woman is special in her own way...
I also know that every woman prays to marry a great guy...

Well, I want to be the great lady he would meet still having in mind that Perfect Women don't exist.

I WANT TO :
Be my husband's first fan and best friend.

Make his house a haven.

Be his Queen and girlfriend.

Be his babies' momma and just me alone.

Hold his strong hands at dawn and  dusk when we commune with God.

Hug him in his struggles and tell him I have his back.

Respect Him and feed his male ego.

Take care of him and make his life amazing.

His friends to envy Him and see me through him.

Finally, I don't long for an already made man.
Yes because Perfect Men don't exist.


Thursday, September 22, 2016

INSPIRING SHORT TIPS

I FOUND THIS INSPIRING AND I WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU.

Gone are those days when I would write about two pages of a post trying to get a few points across to my readers and then I would end up burning them out.
Sometimes we've got to keep it short.

Now I would just go straight to the point without any extra talks.

THINGS TO PONDER ON

1. Popcorns are normally fried in the same pot, in the same oil, at the same time and under the same heat conditions, But do they all pop at the same time?

2. When flood comes, fish eat ants and When flood recedes, ants eat fish, Only time matters.

3. To make soap, oil is required and to clean oil, soap is required. This  is the irony of life.

Always be patient in taking actions and drawing conclusions.

In life, there are 4 things that you cannot recover…

1. The Cake… after it's eaten!  (no pun intended).

2. The Word... after it’s spoken!

3. The Occasion... after it's lost!

4. The Time… after it’s spent!

Let's all be careful and watch our ATTITUDE ALWAYS.

"The Best apology is a changed Behaviour"

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Wednesday, September 21, 2016

SIX SIMPLE LIFE GUIDELINES

*1. _When you are Alone, Watch your Thoughts and where they wander to.

2. _When you are with Friends, Watch your Tongue. The tongue is small but powerful and can hurt deeply... It makes broken promises that tear relationships apart . Remember words spoken cannot be retrieved. 

3. _When you are Angry, Watch your Temper. A hot temper can't cook anything, so keep cool and be calm. 

4. _When you are with a Group, Watch your Behavior.

5. _When you are in Trouble, Watch your Emotions.

6. _When God starts blessing you, Watch your Ego. Remember Pride goes before a haughty fall. 

Saturday, September 17, 2016

HOW I GOT AN AWARD IN ENGLISH STUDIES

I am not a native English speaker though English Language is the Lingual Franca in my Country because Britain colonised us but I did get a Federal Award for Excellence in English Language Studies when I was about to leave College.

How did that happen?

By magic?  Hell No.

Here's how...

1. I always Loved that course :
Every English class was party to me. I enjoyed it and I participated keenly during class so I got good grades... I started building my love for English language the same way I loved to read books, novels, articles. They were written in English Language so loving them meant I loved the Study of English Language in itself.

2. I took notes down :
In my English class, I always paid full attention and jotted important points down, that also built and Increased my First Love for Writing .

3. I sat in front of class :
It was like a permanent position, everyone knew where I would sit, it was my reservation for English class and every other classes I took.

4. I showed Interest in the course and it's teacher :
Even when class was getting boring, I would raise my hand, ask questions that would bring up more questions from others and before we say "Jack Robinson " everyone has something they want to say to prove they weren't dullards.

5. I was willing to participate in English studies related Competitions :
It made me versatile because to win a competition, you have to read a lot and do a lot of writing too. I participated in literary competitions and won so that registered my name on most teachers mind that I was brilliant.

6. I read, researched and revised my notes immediately after school : English studies was like champagne to me, I used it to create breaks in between seemly difficult subjects any time I was studying. You can do that too, use your favourite subject to break the ice before studying other subjects. 

I also researched further about it too because English Language like I know is not static, it is Dynamic, so you keep upgrading if you must know it to a great extent. 

7. I was a curious learner :
My curiosity to learn English properly improved my Vocabulary a great deal. I wanted to know more so I had to keep Learning everyday, I learned new words every day. 

Well, not like I didn't do well in other courses but I did excellently well in English Studies  and that's why I wrote this to tell you how.

I am sure if you did this for every other course, you would excel in them too. 

These worked for me and I just shared them with you briefly, Find what works for you too and feel free to write back to us at bibeychukwusa@gmail.com , we would publish yours too to encourage students  to work more and be excellent.

PRACTICE DOES NOT MAKE PERFECT!

This ancient cliché tells you “Practice makes perfect” but if you look at it logically it doesn’t. Yes it doesn’t... I have always heard my teachers at various points in my life tell me that practicing a particular art would make me perfect in it... Hey! sometimes we got to question rigid clichés and that’s what I just want to do and I just did.

I learnt to drive a manual automobile, I mean a car, at 17. Someone may say I have perfected it but do we actually get perfect?
I see a public transport driver who tells me he’s been driving for 25years and my brain tells me “wow! You’re looking at a perfect driver.”

Hey! If he is perfect, what happened last week when he lost control of the car and hit a tree? You may tell me  “No… accidents happen, and there are a few external factors that could be the cause.” but the fact remains, the car doesn’t control itself, the driver does and most importantly, it’s an accident, also known as a Mistake... And a Mistake is an attribute of imperfection.

Who ever says Practice makes perfect? When another cliché says “Nobody is Perfect”. And if nobody is perfect how come the solution to imperfection is Practice? Do you get my perspective at all?

Practice doesn’t make you generally perfect neither does it make you perfect in that one area, it only improves you in that area, makes you efficient so you do better but that doesn’t eliminate the probability of a mistake even though it’s a minuit mistake. A mistake is a mistake and a sign of imperfections.

If practice makes perfect, why do you still make mistakes when you write or scribble on a note? Remember if you are 30 by now that means you’ve been writing for over 25 years if you started scribbling at age 3 or 5. Yet you still make mistakes when you type or write, not because you don’t know how to write or because you don’t know what you’re doing but because that’s a reminder that you are imperfect, we are imperfect.

So what does Practice do? You should know by now; It makes you Efficient, it improves you on that stuff you’ve been practicing on, like if you’ve been learning your math often, you get efficiency solving that area of maths, now when given another area how well or ‘perfect’ you do has a lot to do with your fluid intelligence, your ability to take the knowledge you learned from a previous maths problem to solving the next math problem.

So, next time you quote the cliché, change it, say it this way “Practice makes Efficient.”

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

IN MEMORY OF 9/11, 2001. GOOD PEOPLE STILL EXIST•

    Please read the following encounter that I just read.

The memories of  9/11 are present with me. That day brought out the worst and then the best in humanity.

Every disappointment is a blessing in disguise

Great piece that brings out sincere humanity out of our travails:

AN AMAZING STORY...

Here is an amazing story from a flight attendant on Delta Flight 15, written following 9-11:

On the morning of Tuesday, September 11, we were about 5 hours out of Frankfurt, flying over the North Atlantic :

    All of a sudden the curtains parted and I was told to go to the cockpit, immediately, to see the captain. As soon as I got there I noticed that the crew had that sober, stern  look on their faces.
The captain handed me a printed message. It was from Delta's main office in Atlanta and simply read, "All airways over the Continental United States are closed to commercial air traffic. Land ASAP at the nearest airport".

     No one said a word about what this could mean. We knew it was a serious situation and we needed to find Terra firma quickly. The captain determined that the nearest airport was 400 miles behind us in Gander, New Found land.

    He requested approval for a route change from the Canadian Traffic Controller and approval was granted immediately -- no questions asked. We found out later, of course, why there was no hesitation in approving our request.

    While the flight crew prepared the airplane for landing, another message arrived from Atlanta telling us about some terrorist activity in the New York area. A few minutes later word came in about the hijackings.

    We decided to LIE to the passengers while we were still in the air. We told them the plane had a simple instrument problem and that we needed to land at the nearest airport in Gander , New Found land, to have it checked out.

    We promised to give more information after landing in Gander .. There was much grumbling among the passengers, but that's nothing new!
Forty minutes later, we landed in Gander. Local time at Gander was 12:30 PM .... that's 11:00 AM EST. Already about 20 other airplanes on the ground from all over the world that had taken this detour on their way to the US.

    After we parked on the ramp, the captain made the following announcement: "Ladies and gentlemen, you must be wondering if all these airplanes around us have the same instrument problem as we have. The reality is that we are here for another reason."
Then he went on to explain the little bit we knew about the situation in the US. There were loud gasps and stares of disbelief. The captain informed passengers that Ground control in Gander told us to stay put.

    The Canadian Government was in charge of our situation and no one was allowed to get off the aircraft. No one on the ground was allowed to come near any of the air crafts. Only airport police would come around periodically, look us over and go on to the next airplane.
In the next hour or so more planes landed and Gander ended up with 53 airplanes from all over the world, 27 of which were US commercial jets.

    Meanwhile, bits of news started to come in over the aircraft radio and for the first time we learned that airplanes were flown into the World Trade Center in New York and into the Pentagon in DC.
People were trying to use their cell phones, but were unable to connect due to a different cell system in Canada . Some did get through, but were only able to get to the Canadian operator who would tell them that the lines to the U.S. were either blocked or jammed.

    Sometime in the evening the news filtered to us that the World Trade Center buildings had collapsed and that a fourth hijacking had resulted in a crash. By now the passengers were emotionally and physically exhausted, not to mention frightened, but everyone stayed amazingly calm.
We had only to look out the window at the 52 other stranded aircraft to realize that we were not the only ones in this predicament.

    We had been told earlier that they would be allowing people off the planes one plane at a time. At 6 PM, Gander airport told us that our turn to deplane would be 11 am the next morning.
Passengers were not happy, but they simply resigned themselves to this news without much noise and started to prepare themselves to spend the night on the airplane.

Gander had promised us medical attention, if needed, water, and lavatory servicing.
And they were true to their word.

    Fortunately we had no medical situations to worry about. We did have a young lady who was 33 weeks into her pregnancy. We took REALLY good care of her. The night passed without incident despite the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements.
About 10:30 on the morning of the 12th a convoy of school buses showed up. We got off the plane and were taken to the terminal where we went through Immigration and Customs and then had to register with the Red Cross.

    After that we (the crew) were separated from the passengers and were taken in vans to a small hotel. We had no idea where our passengers were going. We learned from the Red Cross that the town of Gander has a population of 10,400 people and they had about 10,500 passengers to take care of from all the airplanes that were forced into Gander!
We were told to just relax at the hotel and we would be contacted when the US airports opened again, but not to expect the call for a while.

    Meanwhile, we had lots of time on our hands and found that the people of Gander were extremely friendly. They started calling us the "plane people."
We enjoyed their hospitality, explored the town of Gander and ended up having a pretty good time.

Two days later, we got that call and were taken back to the Gander airport. Back on the plane, we were reunited with the passengers and found out what they had been doing for the past two days.

What we found out was incredible...

    Gander and all the surrounding communities (within about a 75 Kilometer radius) had closed all high schools, meeting halls, lodges, and any other large gathering places. They converted all these facilities to mass lodging areas for all the stranded travelers.
Some had cots set up, some had mats with sleeping bags and pillows set up.

ALL the high school students were required to volunteer their time to take care of the guests.

    Our 218 passengers ended up in a town called Lewis Porte, about 45 kilometers from Gander where they were put up in a high school. If any women wanted to be in a women-only facility, that was arranged.
Families were kept together. All the elderly passengers were taken to private homes.

Remember that young pregnant lady? She was put up in a private home right across the street from a 24-hour Urgent Care facility. There was a dentist on call and both male and female nurses remained with the crowd for the duration.

    Phone calls and e-mails to the U.S. and around the world were available to everyone once a day. During the day, passengers were offered "Excursion" trips.
Some people went on boat cruises of the lakes and harbors. Some went for hikes in the local forests.
Local bakeries stayed open to make fresh bread for the guests.

Food was prepared by all the residents and brought to the schools. People were driven to restaurants of their choice and offered wonderful meals. Everyone was given tokens for local laundry mats to wash their clothes, since luggage was still on the aircraft.
In other words, every single need was met for those stranded travelers.

    Finally, when they were told that U.S. airports had reopened, the passengers  were delivered to the airport right on time and without a single passenger missing or late. The local Red Cross had all the information about the whereabouts of each and every passenger and knew
which plane they needed to be on and when all the planes were leaving. They coordinated everything beautifully.

It was absolutely incredible.

    When passengers came on board, it was like they had been on a cruise. Everyone knew each other by name. They were swapping stories of their stay, impressing each other with who had the better time. Our flight back to Atlanta looked like a chartered party flight. The crew just stayed out of their way. It was mind-boggling.
Passengers had totally bonded and were calling each other by their first names, exchanging phone numbers, addresses, and email addresses.

An then a very unusual thing happened...

One of our passengers approached me and asked if he could make an announcement over the PA system. We never, ever allow that. But this time was different. I said "of course" and handed him the mike. He picked up the PA and reminded everyone about what they had just gone through in the last few days.
He reminded them of the hospitality they had received at the hands of total strangers.

He continued by saying that he would like to do something in return for the good folks of Lewis Porte.

    He said he was going to set up a Trust Fund in the name of DELTA 15 (our flight number). The purpose of the trust fund is to provide college scholarships for the high school students of Lewis Porte.
He asked for donations of any amount from his fellow travelers. When the paper with donations got back to us with the amounts, names, phone numbers and addresses, the total was for more than $14,000!

The gentleman, a MD from Virginia , promised to match the donations and to start the administrative work on the scholarship. He also said that he would forward this proposal to Delta Corporate and ask them to donate as well.

As I write this account, the trust fund is at more than $1.5 million and has assisted 134 students in college education.

I just wanted to share this story because we need good stories right now. It gives me a little bit of hope to know that some people in a faraway place were kind to some strangers who literally dropped in on them.

It reminds me how much good there is in the world.
In spite of all the rotten things we see going on in today's world this story confirms that there are still a lot of good people in the world and when things get bad, they will come forward.

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE STORIES THAT NEED TO BE SHARED. PLEASE DO SO...

#Copied#

Monday, September 12, 2016

9 SIGNS YOUR MARRIAGE NEEDS A CHECK-UP

1. Frequent Accusation and Counter-accusation is one obvious sign.

2. Constant Fault -Finding.

3.Inappropriate Blame-shifting: Blame shifting can't solve any thing in your marriage. It would most expectedly dilute the happiness. 

4. Reporting to a third party : Disaster! Inviting Third party to settle your differences confirms one thing, it shows you both are immature couples... Baby husband /baby wife. 

5. Lack of Communication : The only time some married people open their mouths is when they want to yawn or cough or eat , after that they turn dumb. 
It's as terrible as terrible when the communication lines in your home is jarred.

6. Sleeping in separate rooms : Just like forming a "camp" in the house. We thought you were married, so if you do that, you informally signed a divorce by separating yourselves into rooms.

7. Keeping Diary of wrong doings : Taking note of mistakes, errors, wrong actions is one way to kill your happiness in marriage and one way to slowly kill yourself. It's just like grudge -stacking.
If you haven't known the Power of Forgiveness or been in the school of Forgiveness, you should put a hold on that marriage proposal as forgiveness is one recipe for a longer, healthy marriage.

8. Sexual Boycotts /strikes: You deny your husband sex? Kudos woman! You just giving him a ticket to play into the laps of the lady outdoor. It doesn't solve anything... You only help him help himself out there.

9. Angry Words : To worsen your marriage, say terrible things about your husband's family, and by dawn the next day, you will be evacuated. No delay!

These are a few major prominent signs... There are lots more you do that could kill that marriage faster...

Summary of all is ; To smother your marriage, just do the opposite of what you spouse appreciates or loves!!!
This isn't an advice, it's a warning.

I am Tired of seeing Sick marriages, marriages that need a doctor.  People are rushing in and out of their marriages like a banking hall.

Now watch that relationship closely , watch that date scrupulously, it's the first step to marriage, be discerning.
Wife beaters on rampage, Husband stabbers on rampage! Shine your eyes, use your heart.
What more can I say?

Work out your marriage... It is all in your power to make it beautiful or worse, it's all in your hands


Wednesday, September 7, 2016

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LOVE.

  Until you love to a point where it could Hurt and you can bear the pain for the sake of Love in itself, you have failed the test of Love. - Bibii C  Johnson .
Just like Fire , Love could Hurt.
Love like Rose's have Thorns, if you must pick the Roses you must acknowledge it's thorns.

Love is a gift, and we all crave for it.
Humans need Love. It makes us feel high self esteem, we feel special, we feel blessed and happy .
We all need love and we all ought to show love if we must receive same.

    I met a journalist on my trip back from Lagos state , Nigeria and as we talked, he taught me that there are Three types of Love :
Intentional Love
Conditional Love
Unconditional Love.

He further explained in brevity what he meant. But after further reflection on what he said, I perceived there is more to each one.
Behind Love is a purpose, a reason; Love is more than just the immediate deep feeling for someone especially the opposite sex.
As humans whatever action we take has a purpose attached even though it appears dormant/unknown.

INTENTIONAL LOVE

Josy loves a girl he met recently, she's pretty and has a delectable body. He gets attracted to her and professes his love for her.
Over the months the relationship gets closer and sweeter, he can't get his mind off her.
Unknown to her and in the dim background of Josy's mind , all there is to the relationship is the physique.
He often thinks of her by his side, nude. He wishes he can have a sexual relationship with her soon enough.

Now Josy loves her only for what attracted him. He selfishly claims he loves her for what he can get from her - that is Sex .

77% of  relationships currently are more likely inspired by surface feelings and mere sexual emotions leading to a higher rate of broken relationships and Flirtatious behaviours.
From deduction, this can't be termed Love, it is best called Lust, Infatuation, Obsession.
In one of my post 20 Characteristics of Love ,
You find out that Love is not selfish and if love is selfish then it is not love .

CONDITIONAL LOVE

This kind of love is based on circumstances or occurrences. You stop loving me the moment I fall from the condition or the basis on which your love for me arose.

This kind of love gives a condition to which it keeps existing.
Jena loves her boyfriend because he is rich, he spends exorbitantly on her and gives in to her whims. She says "If you love me, buy me that dress ; if you love send me this amount to host my birthday party "
She doesn't care if you have it or not.

Josy loves his girlfriend because she's beautiful, nice, sweet, caring and great but after an automobile accident that caused his girlfriend to lose her memory. He leaves her in the lurch. He knows she may not recover or she may not remember him, so he withdraws his love on the condition that she is suffering from memory loss.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Unconditional Love is the greatest and a fiery kind of love.
It can be literally described as the Fire of Love.
Though it hurts you, you choose to keep loving.

Like a Dad to his son or a mother  to her daughter... You don't stop loving your child because he fails you at a point or he misbehaves.

I have offended mom a lot of times, it hurts her but she keeps being my mom and refuses to withdraw her motherly love, hence I get disciplined for the wrong I have done, howbeit I don't get Unloved .

This same kind of love was shown by a great person in the good old book of the Christians, His name's Jesus Christ , He loves unconditionally despite how often he got ill treated.
Don't let the ills and pains of life change you for a negative person who acts irritable and clumsy.

Every one wants to be a recipient of this kind of love but first we must first learn how to love people unconditionally. It may seem impossible but start first and see how wonderful life could be when you learn to love unconditionally despite the hurts and pains.

Every hurt done to you can be paid back in full by Love. Instead of revenging or hurting, boldly take the coals of love and pour into the bosom of the offender, you would see how well it goes.

To those who hurt us, conquer them with your Love. It will make you feel stronger and melt their heart. In addition, you feel guiltless.

A person full of Love is beautiful indeed.

Let's Kindle the Fire of Love, that it's Flames may be an evidence of lives touched during our time spent here on Earth.

Symbolic : #THE FIRE OF LOVE#

Thursday, September 1, 2016

THE SIMPLE CONCEPT OF DATING / COURTING

Dating is not a game. It's not about casually playing with someone's heart - Danna Gresh

    Dating and Courting are synonymous. They both mean to have a relationship that would lead to marriage in the long run.

Before you go on a second date with that guy/ lady. Ask yourself  "Is he/she the one?" .

I want to share Danna Gresh's Insights (My reflection) with all the singles who advocate for Chastity/Purity. I read her book; The Seven Secrets of Sexual Purity and this is about what I learned, My reflection from her insights.

Permit me to introduce Danna Gresh : The bestselling author of "... And the Bride wore White". A frequent guest on national radio and television programs. Also the co-founder of Pure Freedom, a ministry equipping men and women of all ages to live vibrant young lives of purity.

Now you know whose insights I am sharing, you got to read with focus.

    We live in a world of Instant gratification.
Want to talk to a friend who lives across the longitudinal lines? Pick your device, make the call.
Want to text a friend?click on your e-mail screen.
Want to take a juice? Use the blender or the juicer...
It's all easy life, Life on the go.

A lot of young people can't wait till marriage before sex, they would even defend sex before marriage and how it can improve their life (dumbest fact ever).

We have a growing population of youngsters who are blind... Blind in the sense that they actually can't Envision the future and have a dream of purity. They want to instantly gratify those emotions, those feelings, Self Control is an essential character everyone should learn including the married and unmarried.

    Ladies pray for a husband,  Guys pray for a wife... We all pray for wonderful spouses but we don't do basically one important thing ; which is: Writing a list for that special one .

Danna Gresh encouraged in her own words  ...That was my choice, and from that moment I wrote a Shopping List for Him,
I never dated a guy for a second time unless he met the criteria on that list. Each one got a chance for me to measure him against the list.

It is pivotal to write a list when looking for a suitable partner... Marriage is a life time venture... It has to be with the right person who complements you,  so making a list is germane.

Do you have a dream about your future partner?  If you do, it would put a restrain on selfish and awful tendencies.
No one is worth having the pleasures of intimacy with you unless they have signed the contract, unless they are worth that position in your life. - Bibii C Johnson.

Refuse to be a styrofoam cup, cheap commodity that could be tested before proper use and disposed immediately.

    It's time to build a vision of your spouse -to-be and a vision of how you would honor him/her from now on.

Danna Gresh's  Guide to making a list for your spouse :
In order of importance
1. Personality Plus : what is her personality like, his personality like?
Amongst your relationships with your friends , which ones work best and has lasted ?
(outer personality can sometimes hide the true character of a person ).
So honesty, integrity should mean a lot to you on the list.

2. The Physique : what does he or she look like? There should be that physical attraction.
Do you see his attractiveness better through his heart than through his physical appearance?  Nobody just marries another because of his/her prayer skills, walking step or dancing ability...
There has to be the first capture... Could be the smile, the eyes, the face...
Though this has to be flexible... Because in choosing a mate, you shouldn't walk only by surface feelings or by mere sight.

3. His/Her Dreams : What is she doing with her life? What does he dream of becoming... Is it compatible with your dreams ( It wouldn't suit if you want to be a full time evangelist and travel round the world, while she wants to be a full time house wife with an online business that doesn't require much of her time ).

4. His/Her Other Love : What does he truly love? What things are his passion? What's her driving force in life? Do you both have similar view points?

Since Dating/Courting is the first step towards marriage, you should not step in that direction with anyone unless he shares you faith.
Imagine a man that is so engrossed in God that he only looks up because God said "that's her! "
Imagine a Lady so into God that you had to find God just  to Find her.

One day you will surely find the special one God has created for you, until then Keep dreaming! Keep praying! Keep being pure!



Thursday, August 25, 2016

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE : POWER OF FORGIVENESS

    Being part of the human race, one has to endure a lot, offences, disappointment, hurts, hate, destructive criticism etc.
The only way we avoid being hurt or offended is by deciding to stop living.

    Well, the purpose of this writing is not to take you through a theory on how to handle offences. No!
There's just one purpose for this writing, one attitude you must learn - The attitude of Forgiveness.

    I really want you to patiently and carefully read through this, it would help you definitely understand just one simple reason why you must forgive.

    Grudges often wear us down unconsciously. It keeps you below the person you hate. You keep hurting yourself when you fail to forgive(your health, mental health gets affected bit by bit)

    Your mind may let you think you are hurting the person who has offended you but that's fallacy; Imagine what hurt is done to me because you refuse to forgive me?  None!

    You inspire only hatred, sorrows when you don't forgive.
You would also find out that upon forgiving, you set a Prisoner free, to realise that prisoner is You!.

    It's often not easy forgiving all the hurts or wrongs done to us but if we must live longer and feel better, Forgive, we must!
Some one wisely said "until you choose to make it an offence, it isn't an offence" understand that?

Now here's the crux of the matter
Forgiving a wrong done to you reveals your level of emotional intelligence.

A renowned physicist, Isaac Newton stated in his third law of motion "To every action there is an equal but opposite reaction "

Implication : Means to every Action there should be a Reaction ;
Equal but(or) Opposite Reaction : This implies that you choose to either give it back equally or in opposite.

Now an apt observer would conclude how emotionally intelligent you are by your equal or opposite reaction.

   If someone lashes out at me and says all bad things he/she can think of to me. What is expected is an Equal but Opposite Reaction .
With my level of emotional intelligence, I choose to react in the Opposite not Equal (Newton gave me a choice).

    That reaction depicts being calm and letting the person off, that doesn't mean the person is right or that I decided to be timid. No!  I just operated on a higher level of emotional intelligence, I have shown a level of maturity in dealing with that person. Someone also said " Don't argue with stupid people because they would drag you down to their level and beat you there".

  "Argue" is derived from the word "Argument "
In argument, there is an exchange of ignorance - D.K Olukoya
Now Forgiveness comes in, I had wisely chose to Forgive and let go over Anger, hatred, strife and name it.

    You try to understand that that's the level that person is operating on and you refuse to get down to his level.
(Do not be quick to anger, anger dwells in the bosom of fools). Now you refuse to be the fool!


Resolve to operate on a higher level of emotional intelligence : Stop being bitter; hatred and unforgiveness makes the heart sick.

Bibii C•Johnson's Law of Emotional intelligence states " To every Action there is either an equal or an opposite Reaction, your level of emotional intelligence determines what reaction you put up".  A derivation from Isaac Newton's third Law of motion.



20 CHARACTERISTICS OF LOVE

LOVE is pure.

LOVE is True.

LOVE is Beautiful.

LOVE covers a multitude of sins.

LOVE is not Selfish.

LOVE does not act Unruly.

LOVE is Compassionate.

LOVE is not Proud.

LOVE is not easily provoked.

LOVE doesn't think evil.

LOVE Endures.

LOVE Hopes

LOVE Believes.

LOVE Defends.

LOVE Helps.

LOVE Protects.

LOVE Honours.

LOVE Supports.

LOVE Celebrates.

Finally, LOVE never fails.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

FIVE KINDS OF WOMEN YOU SHOULD NEVER MARRY.

Excerpt from Praise George's "IS SHE THE WOMAN FOR ME? "

I came across these tips and I want to share Praise George's Insights with you. There are certain types of women, you shouldn't be involved with if you want a very successful marriage.

1. The IRRESPONSIBLE Woman: She does little or nothing for herself, depends on others to handle most of her responsibilities like paying her bills, debts, or buying her things. When you get married to her, she'll expect you to carry out all responsibilities while she does nothing to contribute to the success of the relationship. This woman is only a liability

2. A LIAR : She is very eloquent, intelligent and sometimes charming. You may never realise that such a woman could be telling you lies because you will never be able to reconcile the outward facade she puts on with who she really is. She conceives and concocts tales that never happened just to impress you.
If you catch her telling lies, she'll defend herself with another lie. Never permit a chronic, recalcitrant liar to be a lover or friend because she will ruin you life.

3.A WASTER : She lives above her means. She is addicted to buying whatever looks good whether she has money or not, she buys almost everything on credit, always paying debt and has no savings.
Her idea of success is how large her wardrobe is, because of her habits, she goes out with any man who can pay her debts. She may confess she loves you but the bottom line is how much you can put on the table to cater for her addiction .You cannot change her, so let go of her.

4. A LAZY WOMAN : This woman is not physically challenged in any way but is totally laid back. She hates to lift her hands to do house hold chores, she'll rather hire anyone to take care of her business. This woman detests any sort of hard work. She would procrastinate important projects.
She definitely needs you to slave for her. I bet you she's not the woman for you at all.

5. A PLAY GIRL : She is the Centre of attraction wherever she is. She plays only with the 'big boys'. Her taste is classy and expensive. She dates several men at a time and takes none of them seriously. She hangs out with only rich men who can regularly give her large sums of money and jumps in and out of bed with them. Her philosophy of life is very twisted, she believes in enjoying herself as much as possible without limits or restraints. This woman won't suit you in marriage if you want to actually settle down.

More about Relationships .

Friday, August 19, 2016

SADDEST TRUE LIFE STORY

She Died While Giving Life :

   "The saddest day of my life was the day I lost my Aisha" Haruna told me sorrowfully  "I once heard that time heals everything but in my case, it makes everything worse".

    I met Haruna at the airport, while on a trip to Los Angeles, US. We were on the same plane and he was my sit mate too. 
Being an outgoing person and a freelance writer I soon engaged him in a talk and thanks to a few communication skills I learnt in Larry Kings "How to Talk to Anyone, Anywhere... " He was able to confide and tell me about his most awful experience.

Haruna Speaks :
   I am a computer science graduate and to survive I run a cyber cafe in my town, with the little money I earned I was able to cater for my essential needs.
Soon I found Love with a young Malian girl (girl from Mali). She was really beautiful and dainty,  but what attracted me to her was her character ; she talked, walked with courtesy. Funny and gregarious, she added spice and variety to my life. Aisha was always optimistic about Life and though she was really younger, I took every counsel she gave. Allah had bestowed her with wisdom.

    6 Months later
    It was a rainy evening, I had just returned home from work, eager to meet my wife. As usual she bounced to the sitting room as I walked in and announced that she was pregnant. Too soon for me to believe because after her last miscarriage(it was an ectopic pregnancy though), the doctor had said that she had less chance of being pregnant and if she did, she may not survive it).
Well, I was so happy to hear that but that meant regular visits to the doctor in case of any complications .
I loved Aisha so much and I wanted her only to carry my baby, I wanted to be a father to her baby, my baby. I was ready to go through it with her, all the way.
Our love grew stronger that a few times leaving for work or a trip meant Aisha shedding a few tears. Life went on, good enough, her pregnancy developed fine and there wasn't any complications, so we got ready for our baby's arrival bit by bit.

9 Months later
     The weather was cold, I had returned home late from work too and after sipping a cup of hot tea with Aisha, I got in bed really tired from the day's work. Aisha later tidied the house and joined me in bed.
At exactly 9:16pm, Aisha woke me up. She said she thought her water just broke and she was beginning to feel pains too. I was really feeling sleepy and fatigued so I told her to time her contractions (at least that was what the doctor told us; "time the contractions before running off to the hospital, in that case you can tell of its getting closer" ).
    She just got out of bed and I dozed off;
If someone had told me that this was the last night I was going to spend with my darling, I would have fought with that person, but with each passing hour, her departure from this life, from my life was getting closer. I wished I could do things a lot more different. I wished Life had being fair enough to Us. My baby, Aisha and me.
[ Haruna paused, his eyes were turning blood red, he gulped down the wine in his glass and looked out of the round window]

    Aisha's screaming jolted me back to reality. And I flew out of bed; I later found her in the bathroom. I guess she was taking her "last" bath before being a mom but she got a contraction there as she was about to step out of the bath tub. I washed my face and legs quickly and then helped her put on a comfortable gown, she asked for her pearl earrings and her lip gloss  "what!? I thought we're heading for the hospital?"  I asked a bit surprised . She managed to smile  " I want to feel beautiful today my baby's born ".  Well it was weird but I let her put them on anyway . The hospital bag was ready so I just grabbed it and off we went , on our way to the hospital.

    By the time we got there, it was 10:23pm. Aisha had a hard time being calm. I had to hold her up all the time she felt like collapsing to the floor in pains.
Unfortunately, the nurses told us that they had no room available for her yet. The labour room was in use already. It was saddening, Knowing fully well about Aisha's condition, I knew it was a risk to do otherwise like take her home and call and elderly lady to take her birth or something .

    There was a private hospital not too far from this one but I had the fear if Aisha could manage being transferred again and worse still, it was raining.
Anyways, I called a cab and managed to get her in, she looked pitiable by now. She just groaned in pains and breathed heavily like she wanted to die. I was extremely sorry for her.
We got there and quickly the nurses wheeled her in, asked a few questions and told us to wait briefly for the doctor to come.
"wait!? " I yelled. 
"yes, we follow protocols here ". One short black nurse answered
"damn protocols, she's dying in pains can't you hear her? " I yelled still and they didn't answer me.
I went into the room where they kept her; No one had checked her or something, they just left her to die slowly [he bit his lips]. I held her hands and they felt frail, she was obviously getting tired but each time she moved or groaned, I felt her pains.
"my legs, the baby" she managed to say. It took only a few seconds for me to understand her, I ran out in fury
"Nurse! Nurse! She needs help." I was shouting... Just then a Middle aged man came in
"Are you the doctor, please hurry, my wife is dying " I pleaded.

   He quickly dropped his brief case and put on a lab coat and gloves, then he followed me promptly, ordering the nurses around as usual.
I could tell Aisha was too tired already, she had no strength to even push out my baby.
So they quickly  set up an IVF drip for her.
Aisha was gasping and groaning, I could feel her pains. The Doctor  opted for a Cesarean Section to be done but I had no money enough to even deposit the half sum of 80,000. So they battled on until they brought out the baby, she was dead already but the nurses didn't let me know. They just made me believe that they need to take our baby to a nearby baby center for intensive care. 

    I refused to leave Aisha's side all the while,
soon they brought an oxygen tank and fixed it for her while trying to control the bleeding, she was bleeding endlessly for over two hours and she was still visibly in pains. This was already the evening of the second day since we left home. I was exhausted.  [He paused to dry his tears.]

Did Aisha Survive it?
(I asked after a few minutes of sympathising with him )
On Friday, with the call to Muslims for Prayers at 4:00pm Aisha died but she was already dead before then.
How do you mean?
The doctor later came to check on her, only to discover she was brain dead, he told me to sign , so he could remove the oxygen mask from her face but I refused,  I wanted to give Aisha a chance to survive, a chance to live even when I knew her chances were none. 
Well finally she chose not to fight anymore, she chose to let go of me,  she went where the pain can't reach her.
Post mortem said she died of a ruptured womb. I was devastated

 Haruna talks about Life after:   
     Life is totally unfair, I  was poor that's why I got treated like that. I had no one to turn to...
I had my baby and wife buried in same cemetery and on the same day.
   Going back home was awful, but the nurses insisted that I can't sleep in the hospital , I finally got home and when I walked in , Her clothes, Her foot wares, her body care kits, even her night gown reminded me so much of her, I broke down and wailed. Bad people get married and have kids, why does this have to happen to Aisha and me ?
    My birthday was coming up in two weeks and there was no Aisha to make me feel special, I left her things as she had left them before we left.

When did this happen?
Six months ago, and I am still trying to recover. Doctors say that I am suffering from Post traumatic stress.
I wanted to sue the hospital for everything but... I didn't anymore... Suing them won't take away the grief or pain. It wouldn't help me heal.
They say Time heals almost everything but for me it's bringing up old memories. I just can't forget all the pains I saw her go through.
I just can't forget how incapable I was, I couldn't help her more.

So what do you do to relieve stress now?
Apart from the fact that I am on drugs, I visit her grave every Friday, I talk to her about how life after her departure has being [he sobs] but you know, Aisha doesn't answer me. Right now I'm travelling back home to see how I can start life afresh.

  

Thursday, August 18, 2016

HOW TO UTILIZE THE INTERNET(1)

COMPILATION OF MR OKOLO EMMANUEL SEMINAR PRESENTATION IN GFL WHATSAPP GROUP.

Topic : How best we can utilize the internet for a more comfortable and better life*

Here is a poem about the internet
*oh!internet*
*friend or foe*
*make or mare*
*two sides of a coin*
*double edged sword *
*that's you*
*relativistic!*
*(Emmanuel, 2016)*

      Yesterday a single mum smashed the computer she bought for her son all because he was surfing porn sites.
In as much as the internet has it's shortcomings which I still argue to be relativistic, it's good sides can't be over emphasised. For the purpose of this seminar/discussion tonight,  I will be centering on how we can use the internet to better our lives

    To make this more practical we will be looking at the life of  Mr. A and how we can use the internet in making his life less stressful and better;

Mr. As a young entrepreneur who is into dry cleaning services. He left his former organisation cause he wanted to be his own boss. Starting his dry cleaning business wasn't easy at first, but with support from family, few friends and wife coupled with his zeal to succeed, he found him self on the right track.
However Mr A has some few problems:

*He wants more people to patronise his services*

*His target for increased patronage are the creme de la creme*

*He needs to get some new machines and he he scared of buying from the wrong people*

*His new market would need to book for his services before time*

*His wife complains that he never remembers her birthday*

*He hates carrying huge amount of money with him, and also hates going to the bank*

Now if these Mr A's problems can be solved he would live a better life, happier life and comfortable life. Solving these problems rests in the hands of *Mr Internet*
Now *Mr Internet tells Mr A how he can solve his problems:
* Create a website: By doing this he can advertise his service online via the internet, thus increasing his market.

Use the social media: The social media as we all know is the driving force of many businesses now. If Mr A can advertise using social media, the sky is his starting point

Create an email: Mr A's new target market won't have the time to always call they would rather send you a mail which is easier and more professional.

Shop Online: Mr A dosn't need to travel round Nigeria to get his new machine, moreover he dosn't know where to look since the last time he bought them. Also he could read reviews of people about the product online before leaping....like the saying goes "look before you leap" the internet can help him look by allowing him to shop online.

Online banking: Since Mr A dosn't like going to the bank or carrying money with him, the internet allows him do all his transaction online.

send birthday cards online: Mr A would always forget his to buy his wife birthday card on her birthday. Mr internet said why not send it to her via me. Does she have an email? and Mr A said yes.

After consulting with Mr Internet

Mr A was so happy, he felt a huge load was just taken off his back, he could breath a sigh of relieve.
Before walking out of Mr Internet's office he saw Mr B , Mr C  and Mrs D who came to appreciate Mr Internet for making their lives better. Then he asked Mr B and Mr C how Mr internet did that  and they said;
*Mr B*...... I was having issues getting a job,  but thank God today am employed thanks to Mr Internet

*Mr C*..... I am a pastor and wanted to increase the number of soul for God, and God told me to consult Mr internet to increase my horizon. God told me to tap into the power of the internet.  Today everywhere in the world my messages is been streamed live online.

*Mrs D*.... I wanted my voice to be heard. I am a writer,  I wanted to impact humanity with my words. Mr Internet helped me with that, today am a blogger.

Mr A said..."indeed you are a life changer Mr internet, you have made our lives better"

Thank you for reading!

Sunday, August 14, 2016

HOW I RUINED MY LIFE - BIGGEST ERROR.

    I took the pains to write in my Diary The Biggest Error I Have Ever Made; and that's why you shouldn't be in a hurry to get married early. Don't get me wrong, marrying early is cool but marrying earlier than you are ready is like waking up love at the wrong time.

I'm going to be writing in a different style than you are used to. I would be very exact, giving you an explicit summary of My ordeal.

MONTH 1: I attended Claire's pool party and I met this gorgeous but simple guy, we fell in love just like that. He told me his name was Kirk Jordan and we exchanged contacts. Didn't give him my home address because I didn't want him to meet my parents, I would tell you why soon.

MONTH 2: We seemed to have known each other for years, Kirk actually loved me. I even got to know that he was a college graduate, had a cool job, at least that was what he told me. He seemed to be my Prince Charming, very gentle and luring. I confided in him and soon told him how my home was a mess. He said it would be better I came to live in with him, he wanted me to get away from such environment so it doesn't affect me.

MONTH 3: Kirk took me out often and we were getting really emotionally close. I bought his idea to elope with him but I told him, we could just wait till I finally got out of high school (I was in my last year and in a few months, I was getting out of high school). He said whatever decisions I made was fine by him.

MONTH 4: One night, something strange happened, My dipsomaniac dad came home totally drunk, mom wasn't home yet like every other night(sometimes she didn't even come home). My elder step-sister was married and so I was all by myself often. I was actually fatigued and so I just lay in bed half asleep.
It was a strange feeling, I thought it was a dream, really awkward dream. I just felt this unusual sensation down there. I wanted to open my eyes but it felt as though my eyes became disobedient,
I was scared too... But when I opened my eyes finally, I was mortified by what I saw - Dad had his hands in my pants...
He tried to push me back in bed, though he was stronger, I got away somehow but I got my clothes torn badly from struggling to avoid being raped by my own father.

MONTH 5: Kirk let me live with him after what happened last month, I was devastated and ashamed of my Dad. I dropped a note for my mom before leaving, hoping that no one came to search for me either. After all, they never cared about me, so I hoped my decision didn't affect anyone.
Graduation from high school was on point and Kirk was all I had, he was the only one that attended my graduation not even my dad or mom came by. I felt depressed but Kirk was amazing, he made me feel on top of my world. He told me how proud he was of me.

MONTH 6: I finally wanted to meet Kirk's parents, he never spoke about his parents, did he fall from the sky, didn't he have a beginning? He never spoke about his childhood memories or about his parents. He just made me believe he was a college graduate, anytime I tried to ask, he got dumb and gave me cold stares.
One night, I insisted on meeting his family or seeing a picture of them, after all I wasn't a foolish high school leaver. He yelled at me and made biting comments that really hurt me... Since then I learnt to respect his boundaries if I wanted to continue enjoying the love, warmth and shelter he provided.

MONTH 7: It happened!  We had sex, Kirk was great on bed and gentle too. It wasn't so awkward though it was my first time. He was most surprised that I was a virgin all through high school.
Well, not that the boys didn't come for it or I was a fanatic, I had more fears ; fears that if I got pregnant along the line, It would be a disaster (I was already struggling to keep sane at home let alone if I had a baby too) and besides, being a mother at such a young age was terrifying. I had a gorgeous body and I thought getting pregnant meant losing that.

MONTH 8: Kirk had to solemnize our union, I believed that was the right thing to do too. I wanted to be tied down to his life... I had nothing going on for me other than Kirk's Love. I wanted to go further in my education but Kirk suggested after we had a baby together just so I wouldn't run away for another guy, weird how he thought but I concurred . So he invited friends and just friends, (I also had a few girlfriends stop by too) and the oldest guy present informally declared us partners.
My girlfriends squealed in excitement telling me how lucky I was.
(Years later I think about it and I just realized they were the dumbest people ever).

MONTH 9: Morning nauseating, faintness, weakness, all showed up. I knew that I was pregnant at least that's what we were thought in biology back then - symptoms of pregnancy. Kirk seemed happy though but that was just the beginning of a huge change in our relationship. And as weeks rolled by, every day had a surprise from Kirk for me. He was often too engrossed in himself, overly sensitive and less caring... I couldn't decipher what went wrong. I had even seen him lately snuffing substance and I nearly lost myself.
Kirk's movements became unpredictable and disturbing. Sometimes we went to bed together and in the middle of the night, he was nowhere to be found, to allay my fears he would always drop a note "Don't call the police, I am safe!"

MONTH 10: Kirk would not even let me work in a nearby coffee shop, he said I was carrying his baby and needed a lot of rest, so I stayed home full time, just eating what he brings home and living like a prisoned house lover.
I soon got too fed up of being fed with Kirk's bullshit. (He no longer even cared about my well being, all that mattered was that he provided my needs and I should be content with that).
Lest I forget, I soon became his sex toy, he would just climb and ride and get off - he was so selfish in that aspect too. We often argued and yelled at each other, a few times Kirk hit me and I would try to hit back .

MONTH 11: I finally confided in a girlfriend of mine and told her about my plight. She advised me to take the bull by the horn and show Kirk that I was worth respecting; She even advised me to dig it out with him " no man treats his woman like trash! "
She even told me how her mom fought for her marriage like that and now her dad doesn't mess up.
I got home feeling charged and ready to beat Kirk up. I opened the refrigerator and took out one alcoholic beverage,  I got drunk and passed out. (woke up sick the next day).

MONTH 12: This fateful day, I can never forget. The 12th day of the month in the year 1997.
Kirk had come home late this night and I just sat in the sitting room watching my best movie, Kirk just said hi and I murmured an answer. He dropped his bag and went straight to the kitchen, he must have been seriously hungry and I intentionally didn't make any food for him as usual (wanted to show him that I was his partner and not just a slave).
Then he came into the sitting room and turned off the Television set. " what do you think you are doing? " he yelled.
And that was it, I replied every word he blurted out and cursed him big time, reminding him that I was no servant here and besides I was pregnant.
Then he shocked me when he said " You are as useless as human dung, you are just an overgrown baby who had to get away from home and since you came into my life, I haven't had peace of mind. I wish you never existed. After all no one cares if you die or live " . That was the last straw that broke the Camel's back, instead of breaking down in body quaking sobs, I ran into the kitchen to get a frying pan, I  don't know what I was thinking (Kirk was quite taller than I am).
I tried to fight like a wounded lion but the beast in me couldn't stand the beast in him and soon I could hear someone screaming like crazy... I guess that was me.

Woke up in a hospital, don't know how I got there or what happened to me when I got there. When I opened my eyes, I  could feel a sharp pain all over my body.
I later got to know that the police found me almost dead by the road and that I was seriously bleeding and injured...

To cut the long story short, my life has never remained the same, I lost the baby. Kirk is history, I have never been able to know where he lives... My family is also history though I am planning to go search for them.
One thing led to another, I moved far away from my state... To survive, I work as a stripper in a club. It's not being easy and till tomorrow I still regret every decision I made 14 years ago, I'm 30 now. And though I don't love what I do but the decision I made years back have built me this way, I just flow with the tide.

Thanks for having the time to read my story .